Thursday, March 9, 2017

CELEBRATING WOMANHOOD!!

“WOMAN
● changes her name
● changes her home
Courtesy : Google Images
● leaves her family
● moves in with you
● builds a home with you
● gets pregnant for you
● pregnancy changes her body
● she gets fat
● almost gives up in the labour room due to the unbearable pain of child birth
● even the kids she delivers bear your name
Till the day she dies... everything she does... cooking, cleaning your house, taking care of your parents, bringing up your children, earning, advising you, ensuring you can be relaxed, maintaining all family relations, everything that benefit you..... sometimes at the cost of her own health, hobbies and beauty.
So who is really doing whom a favour?
Dear men, appreciate the women in your lives always, because it is not easy to be a woman.
Being a woman is priceless
Happy women's week!
Pass this to every woman in your contact to make her feel proud of herself.
Rock the world ladies!
A salute to ladies!
WOMAN MEANS :-
W ➖ WONDERFUL MOTHER
O ➖ OUTSTANDING FRIEND
M ➖ MARVELLOUS DAUGHTER
A ➖ ADORABLE SISTER
N ➖ NICEST GIFT TO MEN FROM GOD

WOW! Indeed a touching message sent by a friend on this Women’s Day. Before I begin to celebrate the day/week of the “fairer” sex in my distinct way, I would like to wish all my readers a very Happy Women’s Day.

Since morning, I have been receiving messages and even calls from both my domestic and exotic friends reiterating the fact that how beloved and different I am, how special and strong I am, how beautiful and supportive I am, how caring and sacrificing I am.

And when I say “I”, I am referring to all my female counterparts who are loved and seen differently by every person out on streets: through the lens of jealousy, rage and lechery. My specialty and strength is reinforced by strangers and family who force themselves on me, without my consent. My overwhelming beauty deliberately kept in check through acid attacks. My sacrificing nature kept in check constantly by asking me to give up my dreams.

I didn’t know that I had such superpowers. Or if I consider it the other way round, are they all telling me that I’ll be a woman only if I adhere to these adjectives repeated again and again in these messages which are celebrating my apparent existence as a woman. Then, I am boggled by the fact that what parameters are set up for those brave men trapped in the body of a woman who are finally going for gender reassignment? Who say they are independent now as they have finally found their existence but their lives have taken a 360 degree turn because they have a new concept introduced to them: restraints and constraints, the added advantage of being a woman.

Everyone is receiving such messages and men are actually told to respect women for these reasons. Isn’t this a conspiracy? According to me people are being fed the false image of a woman. I don’t say that these are not a woman’s traits but I do contest the well-known but ludicrous fact that she is a lesser woman if she is little less loving, caring, sacrificing etc.

I am perplexed by such quantifications. What is the parameter to judge the womanly nature of a woman? What is the benchmark? Who sets it? And most importantly who is authorized to make such judgements?

Is woman a lesser being because she loves herself along with her independence, takes her decisions and speaks her mind? Is she a lesser woman because she challenges the age-old concept of “Woman for the hearth” and stands tall in professional workplace, a conventional/so-called man’s world? Is she a lesser woman because she celebrates her womanhood by not cringing at the mere mention of menstruation, doesn’t shave her legs or wears a red lipstick.

Courtesy : Google Images
Some people might think that I am being a feminist. Instead, I believe that I am being thought provoking. I assert this because had women possessed such Olympian potential and hardihood, none of them would have been subjected to discrimination, violence and exploitation.

I read an alarming fact online that the unpaid labour and effort that a woman puts in at home surpasses the collective GDP of various sectors like manufacturing, retail etc globally. And all this while we have been shouting our lungs out for the rights and wages of poor/unskilled labour. Pity! Women Empowerment? It’s just a “beautiful” word that looks good in election manifestos and the conciliatory speeches of “men of honour” when some untoward incident takes place.

Sigh! All I can hope now is that the stereotypes are challenged and the gender gap at ‘Work’ (home or office) place is addressed by some supernatural power so that the efforts of United Nations that is celebrating the theme of “Women In The Changing World Of Work: Planet 50-50” can cut the mustard.


Saturday, January 7, 2017

NATURE'S CALL !!!

Whenever I am out for a walk on the road or taking a stroll in a garden, I find at least a dozen pair of eyes staring straight into my face. I guess this does not happen just because of my charms but also because there’s nothing more soothing (or beautiful) to watch.

We all have been harping that “Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder” for ages now. Agreed. But when the eyes view shades of yellow, blue, white and black; would they still continue be the beholders of beauty? Don’t look confused! These are not the rainbow hues but the colours of litter or garbage in various forms spread all around. Be it a journey to the nearby park or the travel to the office, my eyes get violated on a daily basis. Yes, you read it right! Alright! You want me to close my eyes? Done! I tried that too. But then my nose has another story to tell with the malodour it smells or even the air it breathes in or for that matter the tarred mucus it generates due to smoke in the air.
Don’t tell me that it’s just me who is privy to this fact. You all have “been there, seen that”.

My fingers are crossed for the success of the “Swachh Bharat Abhiyaan” for which I unfailingly devote a part of my dear salary as cess. It might bring some respite to my lungs, no sooner than later.

Courtesy : Google Images

An unprecedented phenomenon is sharpening my brain on a daily basis, that is, “the traffic”. I use all the formulas of time, speed and distance to calculate the shortest route possible in a limited timeframe also using technology, Aka, Google maps in the entire process. But this year, I noticed something new during the wedding season. Every time I saw a new car decorated with flowers, my heart ached and my brain reckoned because that single car meant a soon to be formed “convoy” with each car having one passenger, that is, the driver. It seems they have literally taken ‘Mein aur meri tanhayii’ way too seriously. Another din which causes ear barotrauma to me and makes me think aloud is the loud DJ song and people shouting at the late night parties. I wonder if the high decibel hullabaloo which causes noise pollution is to express surprise for “the chosen ones” (The bride and the groom) !! Gosh! Excuse me if I sound like a party pooper to you but requesting “the DJ wale babu” to play your favourite racy number in a low decibel would also do the magic! Just give it a try. Thank you!!

I know this blog is not a forum to change the world, for better or for worse for that matter. And you got it right, there is a “but” coming. “BUT” guys and gals! Please gang up, drive together and cleanse the environment and bring back the natural colours of likes of lush-green, sky blue and transparent air back to eternity.

It’s been quite some time since I wrote something. There’s a serious reason for that. I was stuck and choked in the traffic and breathing a comatose air until a friend gifted me an air mask (to breath in my own CO2 though) and then found the courage to pen this out.

I guess we all can do our bit or more importantly, not mindlessly go about our daily business of ruining our surroundings, mindlessly. I hope the nature police pays heed to this chronic situation of natural elements and help us all to live’ not survive on what’s left.

Fingers crossed till then!

Monday, July 25, 2016

SURVEY ON GEEZER!!



I recently came across a bizarre survey which talks about masculinity display by the Indian men. Before perusing it, I was under the impression that Indian men’s (excuse the pun) muscle power and vulgar, abusive language were enough to exhibit their virility.  However, the survey provided me a completely different dimension to the concept of manliness in India.

Would you like to give it a thought?

“Can you just bend a bit, keep the pup aside in your car’s front-seat, wear gloves, take a polybag, pick the poop and throw it in the dustbin?”, ahh! my NRI friend is shouting at my neighbour. She dictates it like a pseudo-code not because she is a software engineer by profession but because it irks her when people ask the ‘How’ part of daily ablutions of a pet or are indifferent to it. Moreover, it is not a common sight for her in the exotic land where NRI’s do the needful voluntarily; particularly, due to fear of hefty fines. She has visited me after a long time and there are many things which adds to her fury, as it occurs to most of "the NRIs".

An animal’s excreta had exasperated her so intensely. What if she comes to know the study fact that I am going to share with you all?

Courtesy : Google Images
Well! Well! In this 21st  century, in an era where we boast of digital India, sophisticated and skilled India, the survey has brought to the fore a startling fact : masculinity show is best displayed by “excreting in open”. Yes, that is how Indian men believes is the best way to unveil their toughness, as per the survey.

Wait! This is not done and dusted yet! They believe that the comfort of open air has no comparison with the closed quarters. I mean imagine a white pot in an enclosed area, behind closed doors. Where’s the fun in that? I mean until and unless one squats in the middle of an open field amidst the murmur of flies and fleas and chat with the others around while taking a dump, there is no point of this routine mundane operation!

Who gives a damn what “Swach Baharat” is! No, wait, we are the ones who make commercials to
educate women to raise their voice to get a toilet constructed in their homes and use the same. But what about men? I am amused to say that it is not the paucity of funds for construction of a proper toilet but it’s against men’s ruggedness to use a lavatory. Amused why you ask? Have you forgotten, “Men are the decision-makers in households”. Well! This rings true in majority of the rural households where open defecation is still a major problem plaguing the entire villages.

Gosh!!!

I wish this observation which poses malice towards Indian men is fallacious.

On a lighter note, if the survey goes true, I deduce that ‘Swachh Bharat Cess’ will get exhausted in dung clean-up only.

I rest my itchy fingers now, to hear your thoughts aloud!!

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Book Review - Guy on the sidewalk!!

Guy on the sidewalk is a perfect recipe of an Indian Born Confused Desi. After reading the book I found it very easy to relate to it since similar species of homo sapiens are being manufactured in Indian IT industry these days.

The dilemma of a brain drained and a debt ridden young person, NRI relationship and fears, job struggle and the indecision surrounding the return to India is well portrayed by the author in various hues, particularly RED!

I recommend this novel as it is going to be a light-hearted read.


Saturday, February 13, 2016

ON THE FLY : HOOK-UPS !!!



It doesn’t matter how well-read or well-informed you are. To be popular, super-liked and leave an everlasting impact on someone’s memory and heart, you need to be well portrayed, well-advertised and well-sold. Do you think I am bluffing? Well, not really!!

Did your mother ever tell you how cute the photograph that captured you two cuddling was, that it featured on the cover-page of the "Shishuuuuu" hospital brochure. It was only then that every mother crooned for a bubbly baby like you and wanted her baby to take its first steps out of "Shishuuuuu" hospital only.

Remember how the passport size photograph of the bespectacled and oily haired you, displayed on the billboard of your school and coaching academy highlighting your scholastic achievements brought accolades and moolah to your academic institutes and later to you as well professionally.

These photographs were still fine but when it comes to one's matrimonial portfolio, it is a complete chaos. Don't believe me? Read on!

Since life’s peppy marathon is incomplete without being struck by Cupid, so here you landed in the tech zone of wedding. You had your bio-stats and studio-clicked or photo shopped avatars uploaded either on App based dating websites or full-fledged Online Swayamvars. These matrimonial giants make sure that they are triumphant in successful navigation of the Cupid’s arrow to your profile (and finally your heart) by their scripted rhythm and music encoded in some computer language. I am amazed by the kind of glamour quotient and curiosity that this advanced and modern concept of alliance gets and brings.

Courtesy : allianceonemumbai.com
I see many of my friends and colleagues at workplace fed up of their marriage – which is bound to happen in near future by ummmm omnipotent Online Almighty’s grace and blessings. But then I am even more surprised by the vocabulary, locution and IQ quotient required to empathize with a dear one on this subject matter.

I’ll enlist a few wisdom picks from such a conversation/online rundowns:

“Market reviews are not good for my profile.”

“I (My profile) have been just launched in the market (Wedding Market).” Seems pure objectification to me though.

"Did you register for a regular eco-package or the elite one, monthly or a quarterly?"  Just another recurring standing order instruction on your CTC to venture out in this hunt.

“I am ecstatic; he has accepted my expression of interest but the website shows Guna Match as 7/36. Horoscope depicts a Pitra-dosh!” Are you kidding me!!!

“Dowry givers, please excuse.” Really!!

“Career oriented and homely daughter welcomed!” Beware of this contentious statement.

“Athletic, well settled and a professionally qualified son wanted.” As per my backdated knowledge only criminals are wanted….

So be cautious!!!!

Courtesy : cartoonstock.com

Here’s my genuine opinion:

Whether you are on “Verified professional- marriage-only-websites” or not,
Whether you are found by someone special or not,
Whether the computer code matches better for you or not,
Whether love unites you and brings you together with someone fantastico or not,
Keep sane, swipe right and left on apps to celebrate Valentine 2016.


I am one of you too and you never know if my profile with the tag “Managed by Parent” is doing rounds online!! On this note, I rest my itchy fingers and await your comments on your encounter with online nuptials directly or indirectly.

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

Apart from this, the credit for this post goes to one of my bewildered companions who have joined this quest too.

Sunday, December 27, 2015

EVEN OUTS ALL ODDS IN 2016!!!

I was watching Bob the builder : an animated children show last evening and as always anthropomorphized vehicles left me mesmerized. The ongoing Odd-Even rule discussions for plying of cars on road to combat the pollution in Delhi and this animation series together played a game with my sub-conscious mind. So here I pen down my unpleasant fantasy.



DREAM.......



Many dented and painted vehicles are parked around and engaged in a pensive discussion.



Untattooed Sparkling Hatchback : Hey Automobiles! Good News! I will be on rest on alternate days this fortnight of 2016. A great respite to my ailing engine which bears the pressure of winter chill and fog (smog) each January.



"VVIP'" tattooed Convertible : Alas! God is really kind to you. All blessings seem to have been bestowed on you and your siblings. I am not that lucky even though government boasts of a No-VIP culture!



Pink Sedan : Have you all noticed the conduct of rowdy juveniles these days. No wonder, I have been licensed to be on the run too.



"Red cross" tattooed Mini-Van : Oh dear! Don't worry! I'll too be on wheels 24*7 to accompany you all.



Apt came the unanimous response from CNG and electric cars, Fire brigade tattooed vehicles, Police SUVs, scooter and its bulkier and metallic cousins, i.e., the bikes. All of them were sounding envious of being exempted from Odd-Even rule as they had some indelible patterns.



An old and dilapidated bicycle parked nearby in a shady corner was listening to all the conversation patiently. Her hollowed eyes had seen them taking her place in recent times. Her rusted and parched metallic skin had been over-shined by these newbies who now longed for an interlude. Moreover, she had gained wisdom during this long period of hibernation. And when asked about her opinion, she spoke : Neither of you will be spared. My sisters and I have been listening to a lot of humans. They are a crafty and an insightful lot and have the capability to even out all the odds. They have multiple inexpensive quickfix plans in retaliation to this rule like,



Plan A : Usage of fake number plates

Plan B : Utilizing stickers to change the last digit of the number plate

Plan C : Usage of reversible number plates with original/customized number

Plan D : Deployment of embossed number plates where the last digit can be changed using a sticking tape or a magnet



I am not saying this out of anger but I feel you all are cursed to be clogged on roads forever and ever.

...................


I don't know what could have come up next since I woke up with a sigh!



On a serious note, I agree that homo sapiens are the most intelligent of all the beings present on earth with immense cognitive adroitness. But considering the present circumstances, in my perspective people are really mentally sick since they are scheming alternatives even for 15 days to counter the Odd-Even rule in Delhi. But as the law of Physics states that “Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”, it's high time we offer bounties to nature.

Courtesy: Google Images



I hope this New Year, I would be a non-smoker in real sense! Huh!

As my lungs crave for PM2.5/PM10 free, non-toxic air I rest my itchy fingers as I already feel choked of the 'jugaad' attribute of my brethren.