Saturday, February 13, 2016

ON THE FLY : HOOK-UPS !!!



It doesn’t matter how well-read or well-informed you are. To be popular, super-liked and leave an everlasting impact on someone’s memory and heart, you need to be well portrayed, well-advertised and well-sold. Do you think I am bluffing? Well, not really!!

Did your mother ever tell you how cute the photograph that captured you two cuddling was, that it featured on the cover-page of the "Shishuuuuu" hospital brochure. It was only then that every mother crooned for a bubbly baby like you and wanted her baby to take its first steps out of "Shishuuuuu" hospital only.

Remember how the passport size photograph of the bespectacled and oily haired you, displayed on the billboard of your school and coaching academy highlighting your scholastic achievements brought accolades and moolah to your academic institutes and later to you as well professionally.

These photographs were still fine but when it comes to one's matrimonial portfolio, it is a complete chaos. Don't believe me? Read on!

Since life’s peppy marathon is incomplete without being struck by Cupid, so here you landed in the tech zone of wedding. You had your bio-stats and studio-clicked or photo shopped avatars uploaded either on App based dating websites or full-fledged Online Swayamvars. These matrimonial giants make sure that they are triumphant in successful navigation of the Cupid’s arrow to your profile (and finally your heart) by their scripted rhythm and music encoded in some computer language. I am amazed by the kind of glamour quotient and curiosity that this advanced and modern concept of alliance gets and brings.

Courtesy : allianceonemumbai.com
I see many of my friends and colleagues at workplace fed up of their marriage – which is bound to happen in near future by ummmm omnipotent Online Almighty’s grace and blessings. But then I am even more surprised by the vocabulary, locution and IQ quotient required to empathize with a dear one on this subject matter.

I’ll enlist a few wisdom picks from such a conversation/online rundowns:

“Market reviews are not good for my profile.”

“I (My profile) have been just launched in the market (Wedding Market).” Seems pure objectification to me though.

"Did you register for a regular eco-package or the elite one, monthly or a quarterly?"  Just another recurring standing order instruction on your CTC to venture out in this hunt.

“I am ecstatic; he has accepted my expression of interest but the website shows Guna Match as 7/36. Horoscope depicts a Pitra-dosh!” Are you kidding me!!!

“Dowry givers, please excuse.” Really!!

“Career oriented and homely daughter welcomed!” Beware of this contentious statement.

“Athletic, well settled and a professionally qualified son wanted.” As per my backdated knowledge only criminals are wanted….

So be cautious!!!!

Courtesy : cartoonstock.com

Here’s my genuine opinion:

Whether you are on “Verified professional- marriage-only-websites” or not,
Whether you are found by someone special or not,
Whether the computer code matches better for you or not,
Whether love unites you and brings you together with someone fantastico or not,
Keep sane, swipe right and left on apps to celebrate Valentine 2016.


I am one of you too and you never know if my profile with the tag “Managed by Parent” is doing rounds online!! On this note, I rest my itchy fingers and await your comments on your encounter with online nuptials directly or indirectly.

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

Apart from this, the credit for this post goes to one of my bewildered companions who have joined this quest too.

SYLLABUS FOR THE BOTS!!

Who are your best friends? Is it Ritu, Shilpa living next door or is it the high-end sophisticated digital assistants like Siri, Alexa...