SURVEY ON GEEZER!!

I recently came across a bizarre survey which talks about masculinity display by the Indian men. Before perusing it, I was under the impression that Indian men’s (excuse the pun) muscle power and vulgar, abusive language were enough to exhibit their virility.  However, the survey provided me a completely different dimension to the concept of manliness in India.

Would you like to give it a thought?

“Can you just bend a bit, keep the pup aside in your car’s front-seat, wear gloves, take a polybag, pick the poop and throw it in the dustbin?”, ahh! my NRI friend is shouting at my neighbour. She dictates it like a pseudo-code not because she is a software engineer by profession but because it irks her when people ask the ‘How’ part of daily ablutions of a pet or are indifferent to it. Moreover, it is not a common sight for her in the exotic land where NRI’s do the needful voluntarily; particularly, due to fear of hefty fines. She has visited me after a long time and there are many things which adds to her fury, as it occurs to most of "the NRIs".

An animal’s excreta had exasperated her so intensely. What if she comes to know the study fact that I am going to share with you all?

Courtesy : Google Images

Well! Well! In this 21st  century, in an era where we boast of digital India, sophisticated and skilled India, the survey has brought to the fore a startling fact : masculinity show is best displayed by “excreting in open”. Yes, that is how Indian men believes is the best way to unveil their toughness, as per the survey.

Wait! This is not done and dusted yet! They believe that the comfort of open air has no comparison with the closed quarters. I mean imagine a white pot in an enclosed area, behind closed doors. Where’s the fun in that? I mean until and unless one squats in the middle of an open field amidst the murmur of flies and fleas and chat with the others around while taking a dump, there is no point of this routine mundane operation!

Who gives a damn what “Swach Baharat” is! No, wait, we are the ones who make commercials to
educate women to raise their voice to get a toilet constructed in their homes and use the same. But what about men? I am amused to say that it is not the paucity of funds for construction of a proper toilet but it’s against men’s ruggedness to use a lavatory. Amused why you ask? Have you forgotten, “Men are the decision-makers in households”. Well! This rings true in majority of the rural households where open defecation is still a major problem plaguing the entire villages.

Gosh!!!

I wish this observation which poses malice towards Indian men is fallacious.

On a lighter note, if the survey goes true, I deduce that ‘Swachh Bharat Cess’ will get exhausted in dung clean-up only.

I rest my itchy fingers now, to hear your thoughts aloud!!

Book Review - Guy on the sidewalk!!

Guy on the sidewalk is a perfect recipe of an Indian Born Confused Desi. After reading the book I found it very easy to relate to it since similar species of homo sapiens are being manufactured in Indian IT industry these days.

The dilemma of a brain drained and a debt ridden young person, NRI relationship and fears, job struggle and the indecision surrounding the return to India is well portrayed by the author in various hues, particularly RED!

I recommend this novel as it is going to be a light-hearted read.

ON THE FLY : HOOK-UPS !!!

It doesn’t matter how well-read or well-informed you are. To be popular, super-liked and leave an everlasting impact on someone’s memory and heart, you need to be well portrayed, well-advertised and well-sold. Do you think I am bluffing? Well, not really!!

Did your mother ever tell you how cute the photograph that captured you two cuddling was, that it featured on the cover-page of the "Shishuuuuu" hospital brochure. It was only then that every mother crooned for a bubbly baby like you and wanted her baby to take its first steps out of "Shishuuuuu" hospital only.

Remember how the passport size photograph of the bespectacled and oily haired you, displayed on the billboard of your school and coaching academy highlighting your scholastic achievements brought accolades and moolah to your academic institutes and later to you as well professionally.

These photographs were still fine but when it comes to one's matrimonial portfolio, it is a complete chaos. Don't believe me? Read on!

Since life’s peppy marathon is incomplete without being struck by Cupid, so here you landed in the tech zone of wedding. You had your bio-stats and studio-clicked or photo shopped avatars uploaded either on App based dating websites or full-fledged Online Swayamvars. These matrimonial giants make sure that they are triumphant in successful navigation of the Cupid’s arrow to your profile (and finally your heart) by their scripted rhythm and music encoded in some computer language. I am amazed by the kind of glamour quotient and curiosity that this advanced and modern concept of alliance gets and brings.

Courtesy : allianceonemumbai.com

I see many of my friends and colleagues at workplace fed up of their marriage – which is bound to happen in near future by ummmm omnipotent Online Almighty’s grace and blessings. But then I am even more surprised by the vocabulary, locution and IQ quotient required to empathize with a dear one on this subject matter.

I’ll enlist a few wisdom picks from such a conversation/online rundowns:

“Market reviews are not good for my profile.”

“I (My profile) have been just launched in the market (Wedding Market).” Seems pure objectification to me though.

"Did you register for a regular eco-package or the elite one, monthly or a quarterly?"  Just another recurring standing order instruction on your CTC to venture out in this hunt.

“I am ecstatic; he has accepted my expression of interest but the website shows Guna Match as 7/36. Horoscope depicts a Pitra-dosh!” Are you kidding me!!!

“Dowry givers, please excuse.” Really!!

“Career oriented and homely daughter welcomed!” Beware of this contentious statement.

“Athletic, well settled and a professionally qualified son wanted.” As per my backdated knowledge only criminals are wanted….

So be cautious!!!!

Courtesy : cartoonstock.com

Here’s my genuine opinion:

Whether you are on “Verified professional- marriage-only-websites” or not,

Whether you are found by someone special or not,

Whether the computer code matches better for you or not,

Whether love unites you and brings you together with someone fantastico or not,

Keep sane, swipe right and left on apps to celebrate Valentine 2016.

I am one of you too and you never know if my profile with the tag “Managed by Parent” is doing rounds online!! On this note, I rest my itchy fingers and await your comments on your encounter with online nuptials directly or indirectly.

This blog post is inspired by the blogging marathon hosted on IndiBlogger for the launch of the #Fantastico Zica from Tata Motors. You can apply for a test drive of the hatchback Zica today.

Apart from this, the credit for this post goes to one of my bewildered companions who have joined this quest too.