"PAMPERS" FOR THE PAMPERED MEN!!!

It seems that Indian men have taken the following dialogue from a famous movie too literally “Babbar Sher To karte Hai Khule Aasmaan Ke Niche....Dum Hai To Rok Ke Dikhao!!!” My comprehension says that Babbar Sher ≈ All chaps who stick to the above statement.

Courtesy : Indiatoday.in

Few weeks ago, High court ruling stated that “it could not insist Indian men to leave homes with their zips locked”. Indeed a funny acknowledgement to the piddle problem (No offence to our honourable judiciary).

If I remember my childhood or in fact pre-schooling days, it was the time when my parents would cuddle me for slightest of things, but of course not for wetting the bed or the floor. It’s since that time that my parents and my kindergarten taught me not to pee around and either follow self control or use rest-rooms. Self-control is the most important ornament, I guess. But when it comes to control our body reactions, be it voluntary or involuntary it becomes a bit difficult. So I chose the latter option i.e. of using wash-rooms. I remember how students were rebuked or sometimes even slapped by the teachers or the cleaners for disrupting the decorum of the class by the aroma of their by-products. It was the most basic of the civic sense that was instructed with prime importance. But now when I see all these erudite men out on roads, searching for walls, I feel ashamed. Contrary to this, If I lookout for women indulging in a similar activity, I rarely find any!! C’mon men!! You out-perform women (according to patriarchal facts, which however I don’t accede to!!) in every task. Then why is the fairer-sex fairing well in bladder-control? Enter the arena!! Buck up!!

What was even more embarrassing to read was that the boundary walls with the pictures of deities and graffiti stating “You are a donkey/dog” couldn’t shun these unabashed men from spoiling them.

I think it’s high time we pay heed to this troublesome issue. We are allured by the western countries, why not have laws akin to theirs. For eg:  cleaning your own mess, a night behind the cells or probably imposing a monetary fine to bar people from addressing to their nature's call publicly onto the mother nature. Bingo!!! I was just watching an advertisement and have come up with this - put an end to this menace by production of Adult diapers for these brazen men (Believe me!! It’s gonna be a lucrative business option). Please share your ideas and opinions which could save us from this issue of public shame and disgrace!

Moreover, instead of being lazy on this age-old problem, I approve of a quick resolution. Don’t you agree with me?? I say this because in this time of electoral fray, I won’t be able to stand some other politician affirming “Men will be men, we can’t punish them for this boo-boo”!!!

CAST YOUR VOTE! IT’S WORTH A SHOT!!!

With the election bugle cries in the air, the first phase of polling commences today. And while so many of us are wondering whether to consider 10^th April as just another holiday or get inked or exercise NOTA, I wonder if any of us has actually considered the fact that we Indians are privileged to be a part of the world’s biggest democratic exercise with the right to vote in our hands which when exercised might set many (if not all) wrongs right. Believe me, we have given too much thought. Now, it’s time to elect, to act and set tons of things into place.

Courtesy: Google Images

And this is not just us, even in the name of politicians, our country needs doers more than thinkers today. We wondered wide-eyed what happened to us in the colonial days, we struggled to gain independence and since, our biggest victory, we have been letting stuff happen to us, waiting for time or maybe some divine force to make thing fall into place. But I think that time has come for the third category of people to come to the forefront: people who make it happen.

For how long will we keep grumbling about the “corrupt” system of “ours”? Mind it: we have no right to curse the system until we are ready to accept the fact that we all are a part of this system only and strife to bring about a change.

Patriotism or national pride are not just hollow momentary emotions to be felt on 26^th January or 15^th August or when chanting slogans “INDIA JEETEGA” in a jam-packed Firoz Shah Kotla. These might bring us tremendous joy but not the content and dignity we feel after exercising our precious vote.

Considering everything corrupt, calling the national affairs an anathema is an easy thing to do but it’s not your job. I know I am being harsh but I am really sorry that I am not sorry about it! We might have some sorry state of affairs around us but this might not be the end if you cast your vote, my Friend!

Don’t believe me!?! Just give a thought to the fact that a 49-day stint(as it is called so) by an amateur political party kept each single political entity on its toes making us realize the true meaning of politics that has faded in the years of dynastic, caste, colour, hate, religion politics and bringing about a complete change in the political arena. In place of caste and communal chants buzzing around, we have voices being raised for employment, education, rising economy  and a corruption free developed India. Not just “manifestos”, we have “womanifestos” appearing  in the patriarchal society of ours. Even youngsters are filing nominations in the field previously supposed to be a perfect income plan post retirement.

Courtesy: Google Images

These are the indicators of positive changes in the entrenched society of ours if not more. And it took us 66 years to rise from ashes to what we are today. Think of all we can achieve in half this time period with all the assets that we have today. So, please think of your baby steps to polling booths as giant strides in the direction of India becoming a superpower.

BE YOU, BE DIFFERENT, BE SEEN !!!!

An insane race,

Courtesy : Google Images

A mad craze,
A perplexing maze,
A clear haze.
We are all running!!
Hello!! What's the objective? 
Where is the aim?
Excited and aggressive reds,
Tender pinks,
Hazardous and joyous yellows,
Loyal and depressed blues,
Envious and generous greens.
But where is the tranquil sheen?
Why is it so "black and white" 
when it comes to me?

Hey! I know you all must be thinking itchy fingers and poetry!! :D :D

What to do! They got really inspired by people fretting over-well almost everything: be it studies, profession,
family,friends,career options and God knows! Maybe 50 Shades of Grey ;) or NaMo and RaGa ke raag!!

The point I am trying to make here is that we are running just because everyone else is and that  too pointlessly,aimlessly tiring and losing ourselves in the entire process. Maybe I am sounding lil like Baba RanchodDas or appearing too philosophical suddenly but just pause and think how many times have you actually felt contented or good about yourselves? How many times have you re-read your favourite book, watched your favourite show or played the piano gathering dust in a corner ? 

What I actually feel is that in order to get what by some invisible standards is a "MUST",we are  letting the real us "RUST". Do you really need that food processor right now? Of course! 
Sharma ji, Gupta ji,Malhotra ji all have it! Though I am on a strict diet regime, food processor
is the necessity of life!! 

ROFL.....

We travel miles 
searching for Smiles, 
that actually inside us lies.
When will we become wise?
And come out of the web of lies
And give life some fair tries!!

Just think over it! You might meet yourselves while introspecting!!

Let us come to the innumerable hues that colour our perspectives and views. There are so many shades that we wade through and that invade our mood perpetually. People even use 
mood rings  these days! "My Precious"! :D

Okay! Jokes apart! But is it really meaningful to be painted the same hue as the herd we have all become a part of :knowingly or unknowingly.

Why are we too scared to be seen when we always have that thirst to prove ourselves?
Why are we too scared to realize our potential, the real us? Isn't everything actually "black and white" when we are not ready to give ourselves a chance while we are getting a lot angrier citing the the lack of opportunities! How confused we all are. Living in a hazy dream which seems crystal clear to our tired minds.

I don't think that I am the first person to raise such questions. These are the rhetorical questions  that all of us ask ourselves a zillion times but we don't have any answer because you know what "we are all doers not thinkers and we don't even know what we are actually doing"!!

So here I leave you with you these unanswered questions and a few lines from my favourite song:

I hope your still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you will give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance
I hope you DANCE!! I hope you DANCE!!

ANIMATED LOVE THIS VALENTINE!!!!

Before actually perceiving the meaning of Valentine and Love, she is just like any one of the POWERPUFF girls. Cute as BUBBLES, fussy as BLOSSOM and authoritative as BUTTERCUP. Flying high struggling with the prodigious curriculum around.

Courtesy : Google Images

 Every other guy whom she used to think of as DENNIS THE MENACE has suddenly turned into JOHNNY BRAVO. A woman-chasing personality, hard to tolerate but harder to miss or mess with. Gradually it came to a TOM & JERRY chase and torment between her and him. Heart-aches here followed by crushes everywhere. Like PANINI THE CAT, she fell for CHOWDER THE YOUNG CHEF in her training class. But cleverly she evaded the investigating eyes of others which rolled like those of INSPECTOR CLOUSEAU’S OF PINK PANTHER or UNCLE SCROOGE for that matter. Amidst this entire clamour, finally the Cupid struck. Like MINNIE MOUSE, she would dress up and roam around with her MICKEY MOUSE. She dreamt of strong and courageous ALADDIN and flew with him on carpet like PRINCESS JASMINE. Not to forget, like ORTENSIA, she was jealous of all other girlfriends eyeing her OSWALD!! But then as is said, honey attracts bees, her charms did wonder too. But to deactivate them, he came like POPEYE THE SAILOR MAN and saved her from the clutches of every BLUTO. She too reciprocated wonderfully as a veracious partner. Like SALLY BROWN, she supported him in all his endeavors, always encouraged her SWEET BABBOO LINUS in activities ranging from playing piano to anything and everything. And a mandate happy ending did follow. He loved her forever like FRED FLINTSTONE even though she couldn’t catch up with his schemes sometimes!!!

I hope this animated love concoction would let you spill the beans too!!! Share with me too!! 

Now, if I can put my itchy fingers in this season of Love on those mingled, then why not on SNOOPY FROM THE COMIC STRIP PEANUTS (beloved pet of CHARLIE BROWN).

Courtesy : Google Images

C’mon! you can pamper yourself and primarily cheer by first of all saying “Two is a crowd and I am a fantastic present to myself”. Don’t abhor yourself for a little aberration in your life. And here comes one more suggestion for you from my basket – Go out to restaurants or pubs alone. You’ll be amazed by the grand welcome and discounted meals offers. Believe me, I am not lying. And all those shattered and heartbroken out there, better to carry your Ex’s picture to your dining place. Angels out there would gladly help you overcome the emotional atyachaar by setting it ablaze. And the last but not the least, do munch upon a heart shaped pizza (of course sliced from the mid)!!!

CAST OUT CASTE!!!!!

YEAR 2014

Results out (Percentile)	Category	Status
94	General	Sorry! We can’t take you. Your score doesn’t meet the 100%ile cut-off.
85	So-called Downtrodden	Aaiye Boss! Aaiye!

YEAR 2030

A year of revolutions!! The marginalized General category out on streets protesting against the system for “outcasting” them and setting the bar higher for them to gain entrance into the educational institutions spanning from kinder garden to college and from peons to CEOs on professional front.

--Political Game

Assuring people of taking up the matter in both the Houses and setting up a commission taking the number of commissions to 1,00,000 (to be precise).

--Vote bank Mantra

“If I come to power”, I promise that my party will pass a bill for the reservation of the“Non-creamy” layer in the General category with immediate effect.

So, is this the solution? “Setting Quotas within Quotas”.

Courtesy: Google Images

My! My! I have been wondering that why for the past numerous years India has been a “DEVELOPING NATION” and not a “DEVELOPED ONE”. And the answer has been in front of us all along and we didn’t realize! You tell me that in a nation where people are fighting to take a bite in the pie of Scheduled Caste, Scheduled Tribes, Other Backward categories and Economically Weaker Sections, then can it progress?? Can it progress when people are hell-bent to be a part of “the so-called weaker sections” in order to get better opportunities, progress and may be an edge over many of their perseverant “non-weaker” counterparts? I am not against reservations but Yes! I am pertinently in favour of reservations only for those who truly “Need” and not “Want” reservations.

If your thoughts are not in resonance with mine, then pause for a minute and think about the future of that poor child sitting in shabby clothes who might enter (if he ever does) a school as a janitor. Think about the neighbor who is burning the mid-night oil to get into his dream institute while you are flipping through the TV channels in cozy blankets just because you have to score only 50% for that institute as you were “privileged” enough to be born in a family with “OBC Certificate”!! You say it’s “Birth Right”, I say it’s “Shame” if you don’t deserve that in actuality.

“Need” and “want” are really strong words. If India as a nation wants to develop and we as people want to progress on the path of success, equality and harmony, then I strongly feel that the whole concept of “Reservation” should and must revolve around these two words only. Otherwise, I think in the following years, when different parts of the globe would be boasting about their high GDP’s, literacy rates and technological advancements, Indian government would be busy distributing reservation certificates to each of its citizens. PITY!!!!! 

If we don't find a panacea to this chronic problem, then I think that the Gods of this religion fanatic nation would have to consider allowing the germinal babies to choose "privileged" families for an unshakable future.

                                                                         

                                                                                                                                

"S"atiated "A"t "L"ow "E"xpense!!!

Courtesy: Google Images

The king of seasons: the sale season, the time of year of raining discounts is finally here. And correct me if I am wrong, this is the most awaited season of the year. Gone are the days when we got content even after window shopping as it’s time to ditch those cozy warm quilts and throng the malls and markets. “Welcome!! May I help you!!” followed by a pat reply “No, I’ll manage” are the dialogues of the season even though everybody is aware that the wardrobe floodgates have opened and they will have to wade their way through a sea of robes to get their hands on something to take back home.

Traffic snarls not only on the roads but inside the malls too is not a rare sight to see.  Stalking one another (literally), shopaholics with an eye for jazzy apparels even try to snatch away that green coloured jacket the other person has been carrying around for past half an hour. Guards are happy as you enter the main gate of the shopping precinct but beware when you leave. That’s of course is not an easy task as your shopping bags are under his keen surveillance and scrutiny. Trailing queues with utmost discipline are to be seen at the doorway to the trial rooms. Yes, we Delhiites know what self-control means (though sometimes)!! But what adds to the woes is that a single piece of dress needs approval of all ranging from mommy to bhabhi to naani (not to forget phone approvals from the special loved ones). Ufff! This inferno like situation gets a lot more crazy with innocent infants crawling inside out with their freaked out fathers running behind them while handling the age old question of  their mommies “Do I look fat in this??” diplomatically. Cheers to guys for this!! These very toddlers are shrewd enough to point their fingers at games or chic dresses which come as a rescue to these worn-out progenitors. Irritating are those who make the trial room their homes trying to fit in every possible size of every single dress in every shade available. Even amidst this entire tussle, shaking my leg to the tune of background music in the trial room, I never forget that mirror authenticity needs my verification too. Shopping hard enough throughout the day, guys too have their cup of tea in just 5 minutes. One T-shirt here, a pair of jeans there and voila! Wardrobe modified instantly. But this lightning speed does vanish when it comes to shoes and accessories though! Kind of boring as there’s no hustle-bustle around which I had just talked about till now. But Thank God!

If all this wasn’t enough, roadside shopping is even more delightful and accessorizes our discounted stock. It allows us to let us practise what our brain is actually wired for – Bargaining. Afterall, Aur kuch ho na ho, raaste ka maal saste mein nai liya toh kya liya!!!

Courtesy: Google Images

Shopping is a real stress buster too. Try it. The ambience, lightning and the people scurrying around is enough to rejuvenate and boost your tad dampened spirits. A festive atmosphere envelopes all gloom and yes pockets too!! . I am going to get my itchy fingers on the LBD that my eyes have been feasting on for the past few weeks!!! Ta-daa!!!

SALUT 2014!!!

Hello Readers!! Here we are with the first blog post of the year 2014 - International Year of Family Farming (IYFF). My lethargic itchy fingers are finally out of the warm quilt (with too much effort though) to bid adieu to the year that was 2013. If I mention more precisely 2013 sirf ‘tera’ nahi ‘mera’ bhi tha!!! (Hey! I am not Kapil Sharma, so what more do you expect!!)

Okay! Moving on! My itchy fingers won’t delve into the deep pool of events that kept us occupied the whole year long. It’s better taken care of by the newspapers, news channels and magazines which have been playing the tape “The year that was” over and over again quite unabashedly and incessantly. But yes, we would like to mention that 2013 was not the one where calendars seemed passive. It was a year full of a lot of action, drama, gaiety and even loss both at national and international levels in numerous fields. It makes me happy that common man has evolved over the year. He has freed himself from the shackles of rudimentary perspective, made a whole new horizon for himself. He has come out of the closet he has been hiding himself in. No longer does he get cold feet but has the courage of confrontation. Yet, it really saddens me to say that in this process of evolution, many have given in to the predominant sociopath in them. And I think that its apt to quote Dickens now: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times”.

On a hilarious note we saw a full on “dramebaazi” over “maid” maybe it was “maid of honour”? Who knows!! And the paparazzi going crazy at the drop of the twirk oops selfie oops I mean a hat!!

And of course, not to forget mentioning that we have completed the year we thought would never knock on our doors!! (All thanks to Mayan calendars and prophecies). LOL!! We finally bid adieu to 2013 successfully. 

Courtesy : Google Images

Are you ready to make some New Year resolutions? To make sure, the ones which could actually be implemented with full honesty. We too are making a resolution with complete conviction this time at least, to make 2014 a milestone year in the journey of our lives by learning from our mistakes, getting over our follies and carrying forward our strengths and success ahead. Not to let the flame burning inside our souls die out of passivity.

I have few generic resolutions coming in my mind too at this point of time:

1    1. Don’t drink and drive! Just drive yourself crazy.

      2.  Relax but don’t relieve yourself under the roof of the sky.

3. Have faith in God and not in godsmen.
4. Be humans not animals.

      5. On road, let your vehicle indicators do the talking.

      6.  Don’t take every quote written at the back of trucks too literally. Aree bhai dekho par public mein  itne pyaar se bhi nahi!!

      7. I know you all have a lot of “sources” and “resources”; need of the hour is to conserve the resources.

      8. Last but not the least, keep the person you see in the mirror always happy. :)

So enjoy and party hard throughout the year!! Have a great year ahead and Happy New Year!! May you get joy, success and visit us more often.